Not the cheeriest title for a Monday is it? But my hope here is that it feels a bit more so, by the end of the post. Maybe even a little glimmer of peace.
While probably never really easy to think or talk about, I do believe it can at least become easier with the following two things. First, just by doing that which can be so difficult to initiate, talking about it. Engage in those conversations about death. What you fear, what you believe, what you think happens, what you want for yourself, your stuff, your all important stuff, and for your body. Egad, that last one’s a strange concept isn’t it? But maybe that’s precisely why we need to talk about it.
And second, by doing all this thinking and talking, earlier rather than later, when it doesn’t feel so imminent. Easier to put aside and forget about, when as far as we know, the realization of it is further away. I like to think I’m laying the ground work for that inevitable, yet in so many ways unimaginable, last breath. By trying to process it ahead of time, as best as I am able, maybe I’m getting a little jump start on death. Trying to feel more comfortable with the whole crazy idea.
While sharing our respective feelings and thoughts on our own death, maybe that will in turn ease those concerns for our loved ones, and vice versa. If we know how someone feels about their own mortality, can share it openly, maybe that will help us deal with their inevitable passing, or they ours. No words left unsaid, no wants left unknown. Unified in that collective death we’ll all know. Or maybe that’s all a load of hooey. For who can really prepare, or ever be ready, for a loved one to die before us?
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There was a great British show that I wish aired more often, or were available on DVD. Solo starred Felicity Kendal (of Good Neighbours fame) as Gemma. There’s one scene that has always stuck with me. In one of the show’s more serious moments, a reflective Gemma says, “I’ve got this terrible feeling that no matter how well I live my life, I’m not going to get out of it alive.” Both funny and poignant all at the same time.
For doesn’t a part of us have a really difficult time believing we’re actually going to die? I mean, we’ve never done it before, at least as far we know. We’ve only known being alive, so how can we possibly comprehend being dead? And besides, aren’t we taught that if we do something well, we’ll be rewarded for it? So shouldn’t it follow that if we do this life thing really well, we should be able to alter its outcome?
I do get tired of hearing how if we were immortal, then time would have no meaning. We wouldn’t appreciate or value it. Life wouldn’t be so sweet if there were no time limit. Blah, blah, blah. But you know, I’d be willing to give the no dying thing a shot. However, since that doesn’t appear to be an option, I guess we’ll have to muddle through as best we can. And try to savour every moment, not tainted by thoughts of it ending. Ah, yet another challenge. And like everything that’s difficult to process, remember that ol’ shelf you can put it on when you’ve thought or talked all you can. When you need a break. For to think of death for all your life, is no way to live.
